Q: Why did SDP withdraw from Punggol East?
A: Because all of Danny’s proposers and assenters were under 21… the majority were under 6 years old.
Q: Why did PAP nominate Dr Koh, a colo-rectal surgeon?
A: It was Dr Koh or Dr Gan, a gynae who touches women’s private parts every day.
Q: Why did ST publish an opinion poll for Punggol East
A: Because they wanted to kiss Dr Koh’s ass.
Q: Why did Workers’ Party nominate Lee Li Lian?
A: Because they have too many posters left behind from 2011.
Q: Why did Desmond Lim contest?
A: Because losing money at Marina Bay Sands is not thrilling enough for him.
Q: Why did Kenneth Jeyaretnam contest?
A: Because his father once ate at a hawker centre in Punggol East.
Q: Why will KJ lose his election deposit?
A: Because no one wants to be his neighbour.
Q: Why did Yam Ah Mee retire from PA?
A: With so many by-elections, they need a full-time Returning Officer.
Q: Who will win Punggol East?
A: Most likely the Elections Department. They’re looking to win at least $16,500, and likely $33,000.